Where Has Forever Gone?
by kirin-saga
Summary: They should have had forever. Soundwave/Perceptor. Companion fic to Regrets.


**Title: Where Has Forever Gone?****Author: kirinsaga  
Warning: Character Death  
Rating: PG-13  
Universe: G1  
Pairing: Soundwave/Perceptor  
Word Count: 2,072  
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.  
A/N: Companion fic to Regrets.  
**

* * *

_"Are you all right?"_

_It was strange. They were soldiers on opposite sides of a war, meant to have nothing to do with each other except on the battlefield. They had, in fact, just moments ago been trying to kill each other. But apparently, somehow, this Autobot seemed to have forgotten that._

_"Here. Let me help."_

_Soundwave didn't understand. This Autobot should have left when the battle ended. But instead he, the weak Autobot microscope, was here helping him._

_"Please hold still."_

_Soundwave didn't understand it._

This battle was the largest Soundwave could recall being in, on Earth. Usually, the general rule on Earth was expediency. Get in, get the energon, get out. Fight the Autobots, push them back or be pushed back. Retreat. That's the way it was.

But not today. No, today it seemed as if every Autobot, every Decepticon was of the All or Nothing mindset. Either they'd win, and win big, or they'd leave with nothing. Not even with their lives. Soundwave didn't understand it. His Cassettes didn't understand it. It was just one little factory; what was so important about it?

Was such a little thing worth fighting over? Worth dying for? It hadn't even produced that much energon.

It was a chaotic battle, more so than usual. Everyone was fighting whoever was in reach, rather than breaking into smaller groups as they usually did. Three of the Constructicons were fighting a couple of Protectobots - and why weren't any of the Gestalts combined? - while the others seemed to be terrorizing some Minibots. The Aerialbots were scattered every which way and the Seekers had been forced to the ground early on.

He couldn't see his Cassettes, couldn't see Perceptor. Yet his bonds told him they were all well, if frightened of the intensity of the battle. Most of the fear came from Perceptor; he didn't handle chaos well. Battle, yes. He was a surprisingly efficient fighter. But chaos of this type affected him badly.

Soundwave had never learned why.

He calmly blasted a hole in a green Autobot that had tried to rush him and glanced across the battle.

He froze.

_If Soundwave could blush, he would be doing so at this moment. Here he was, a strong, respected Decepticon... and he was allowing this little Autobot to laugh at him. "Amusement: Not appreciated."_

_Perceptor kept giggling as he ran the wash cloth over Soundwave's pink - **pink** - back. "I'm sorry. It's just... just... those twins of your's." Perceptor took a steadying breath and made a valiant attempt to stop laughing. It lasted all of ten seconds. _

_Soundwave sighed and considered killing the Autobot. But he didn't._

Time slowed.

There, across the battle scarred valley, stood Perceptor; standing between Rumble and a Dinobot, _protecting_ Rumble from the Dinobot. Such a size difference between the microscope and the dinosaur. Between the scientist and the stegosaurus. Such a-

The blast hit and freezing, agonizing _pain _shot through Soundwave's soul.

He wasn't aware of much after that. He screamed, he knew that. Knew he had tore through the green Autobot who was only now regaining his footing but he didn't notice doing the same to the Constructicon and the Protectobot behind him. He was running and something large swooped down from the sky, tried to stop him, tried to kill him; and he ripped through it as well, not noticing, not caring about anything other than what he could see so far away.

_"So what's it like being an Autobot?" Frenzy again. He was always asking Perceptor inane questions. Soundwave knew he shouldn't be encouraging this._

_"Not much different than being a Decepticon, I suppose." Perceptor never seemed to mind, surprisingly. Although, maybe not so surprisingly. The scientist seemed to enjoying talking. "Less violent, of course, for the most part. We do have our internal conflicts, however."_

_Frenzy looked slightly frustrated, as if he had been somehow misunderstood. He hopped up on Perceptor's leg (Perceptor was sitting on the forest floor, so as to be on a more eye level with Soundwave's Cassettes) and waved his hands - and Soundwave had to restrain himself from snatching him to safety, away from that light cannon. "No; I mean what's it like for **you** to be an Autobot?"_

_Perceptor smiled slightly and nodded. "Oh, I see." He paused a moment, gathering his thoughts. "I suppose it's rather lonely," he answered. He was frowning now; Soundwave hated seeing him frown, though he couldn't understand why. "The others... Well, I suppose I'm easily forgotten." No, you're not, Soundwave wanted to say. I could never forget you. But he kept his silence and let Perceptor speak. "The only ones I ever see with any regularity are Ratchet and Wheeljack; and they are rather busy - and lonely, I believe - themselves." Perceptor looked sad now, just slightly, and he had placed his hand on Frenzy's, who had rested his on Perceptor's shoulder. Again, so close to that deadly cannon, but neither seemed to notice; both seemed to take some comfort from the gesture. _

_Soundwave was content to allow it. The urge to snatch his precious Cassette away from the Autobot was growing weaker with each meeting._

A large distance passed in such a short time, and he remembered none of it.

_"Do you ever miss it?"_

_Soundwave was used to this by now, these apparent non-sequiturs of Perceptor's. So he wasn't surprised when, after hours of peaceful silence, Perceptor suddenly spoke of the matter that had been plaguing his (Perceptor's) mind all night. At his silence, Perceptor looked away from the starry night sky and turned his full attention to the Decepticon next to him. He didn't elaborate; didn't explain himself or repeat his question. He knew full well that Soundwave knew what he had been speaking of._

_Soundwave returned his gaze, not reading the microscope's mind but skimming the surface, trying to determine if Perceptor really wanted his true answer or if he just wanted to be told what he wanted to hear._

_The truth. It was always the truth with Perceptor. "The Golden Age is unrecoverable," he finally answered. "It is pointless to miss it." _

_Perceptor frowned and cocked his head, his optics dimming slightly in disapproval. That's not the question I asked, his gaze seemed to say. You can read that, clear as day. Don't try to deny it._

_Soundwave hesitated barely a moment. "No. I do not miss it."_

_Perceptor nodded and returned his attention to the stars. He accepted that answer._

_Soundwave couldn't understand why._

Couldn't remember... Just memories. What he had... used to have... was _losing_...

_"It's interesting, what they believe, isn't it?"_

_A true non-sequitur this time, as Soundwave had been focusing on the video Lazorbeak was streaming him and not on the mind of the Autobot next to him. Possibly unwise, that. "Clarification: required."_

_Perceptor looked slightly amused, and yet also a bit sad, as he petted the Decepticon cat who was draped over his legs. "Your Cassettes," he explain as he scratched behind Ravage's audials, causing the overgrown kitten to start purring. "They believe so many different things, and yet they are so alike."_

_Soundwave had a suspicion as to where this was going, yet allowed Perceptor to reveal it at his own pace, rather than taking it from his mind. _

_"For instance," the Autobot continued, still petting Ravage, who seemed content to ignore the conversation taking place above him. "Ravage and Frenzy have gotten used to - and even seem to anticipate - my visits. Lazorbeak, Buzzsaw, and Ratbat seem still a bit unsure of my motives. Understandable, I know, considering we're supposed to be enemies. But Rumble..." Here he paused, and his petting slowed. Ravage looked up and curled closer in an attempt to comfort him. He smiled sadly at the cat. "Rumble, however, seems determined to ignore my very existence. He and Frenzy are so alike..." He stared blankly ahead, not seeing what he was looking at, seeing instead two young Cassettes laughing over something that only they knew. "So alike... and yet so different." So different that one accepts and one doesn't. So alike that they can easily see the other's point of view and yet both refuse to. A rather distressing thought. "Am I... am I breaking them apart?" He turned his upset gaze towards Soundwave, pleading. Please tell me I'm not hurting them somehow. Tell me I'm not breaking these brothers apart._

_Soundwave, for once, didn't have an answer for him. Not one he wanted to hear. So instead he returned his attention to the intel Lazorbeak was sending him, leaving Perceptor to Ravage's care._

He was losing...

_"I think I love you."_

_Soundwave had been wondering when Perceptor would voice this. The feeling had started long ago, almost as soon as the two had begun meeting here. He could sense it, always hovering at the edge of the microscope's thoughts, yet never seeming to fully come to the surface. He turned and looked at the Autobot that sat next to him, silent for the moment._

_Perceptor nodded to himself and leaned against Soundwave, resting his head on the Decepticon's chest. "Yes. I think I do."_

_Soundwave stared at him, momentarily at a loss, before he hesitantly wrapped his arms around him. Perceptor sighed happily and snuggled closer. "I love you," he repeated, smiling in contentment._

_Soundwave was silent for a long moment as he thought. They were Autobot and Decepticon, enemies fighting a war. They could be executed for treason if either side learned of these meetings. He should put a stop to this... relationship. For the sake of his Cassettes, himself... for Perceptor's sake. He should stop this._

_And yet... the thoughts he could now detect coming from Perceptor... the promise he had not yet spoken, but had made known to him all the same... Soundwave finally spoke. "Love: Returned."_

_No truer words had he ever spoken._

And suddenly he was there and he was holding his bondmate. He was there; it didn't matter that he was covered in mech fluid and multicolored flecks of paint, didn't matter that he was getting Perceptor dirty, he was _there _and...

Perceptor was shivering.

Soundwave held him close, trying to protect him from something he was unable to truly protect him from. Trying to protect him from the world, from those that- Soundwave shuddered and stared into Perceptor's flickering and dimming optics - from those that hurt him. From everyone that hurt him.

Rumble was standing, trembling, next to them. Soundwave took no notice.

Perceptor was trying to speak, trying to reach him. He looked so afraid. Soundwave opened his mind, touched Perceptor's. It was dangerous entering a dying mind but what did it matter when your own soul was dying with him? What did it matter? Did it matter?

A Dinobot was wailing next to him, screaming for Perceptor to get up. Please get up.

Perceptor was growing grey and still, his optics darkening and his hand falling. He was trying to stay, struggling to stay awake and alive and with Soundwave... And he couldn't. Soundwave knew that, could feel that, but he willed Perceptor to live, gave him what strength he could through the bond. Begged him to stay. Stay with me, don't leave me.

But it wasn't enough.

I love you.

It just. Wasn't. Enough.

Don't go. Please.

Never enough.

Soundwave screamed.

_"Bond with me."_

_He could feel Perceptor's shocked gaze. He had startled him. Barely a moment into their meeting and Soundwave spoke, whereas he was usually content to allow Perceptor to control the flow of conversation. Soundwave fidgeted as the silence grew and he threw a nervous glance in the direction of the microscope._

_Perceptor was smiling. Was... was **bouncing**. Was... happy? He was happy?_

_Soundwave could feel Perceptor, feel his happiness and his love and his... acceptance? He accepted? "Bond with me?" It was a question this time, hesitant whereas before he had spoken with confidence. Why wasn't Perceptor saying anything?_

_Perceptor was hugging him and he wondered, vaguely, how the microscope had moved so fast from across the clearing. "I will," Perceptor said, kissing Soundwave's face mask (one of the last barriers between them). "I will, my bondmate." He smiled and made himself comfortable in Soundwave's arms. "And we'll be together. Forever."_

_Soundwave smiled and retracted his mask (and did he dare hope that Perceptor spoke the truth? That this was forever?) and removed that last barrier. _

Forever, Perceptor had said.

Forever...


End file.
